What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
