I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
