everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
