Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
