hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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