So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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