Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Your penis caused this!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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