You just made me feel so damn special
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
