He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
