If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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