i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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