You really coming over, don't trick.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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