I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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