yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize