You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
