seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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