Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The Olympian is in my bed
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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