Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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