it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
