I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
