Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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