I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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