are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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