you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize