I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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