You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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