when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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