uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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