If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize