I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
