you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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