we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
