and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
