guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize