omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
