question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
