Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
