ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
