We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize