YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
