so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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