I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
