I have demons in me.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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