yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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