Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize