Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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