people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
