It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
