sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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