is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
