I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You pole danced in your parka.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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