How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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