I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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