can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize