Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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