but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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